About Us
Crombie Film is the production banner of British film-maker Robert Crombie.
Robert is the writer and director of the hit romantic drama Sappho and the 2D animation feature The Good Soldier Shweik, and a writer and producer of the MGM distributed action movie Soldiers of Fortune starring Christian Slater, Sean Bean, Ving Rhames, James Cromwell & Colm Meaney, and the director of the “woman in peril” thriller White Swan, starring Christian Slater and distributed by Lionsgate.
Robert was the CEO of both the production services company / mini-studio Yalta-Film and its associated film equipment rental company (and Arri rental partner) ArtLite (both located in Crimea, when Crimea was still de facto part of Ukraine). Prior to that he was the director and/or producer of well over 100 TV commercials. These were mostly shot in Eastern Europe, largely for multinational clients like Proctor&Gamble, Mars/Masterfoods, Nestle, McDonalds, Shell etc.
Robert is also the author of the novels Cuba Libre and The Big Pretend, and the short story collection The Book of Fantastical Animals. He is also the creator of the board game Human.
We’d love to share news of our film projects “in the works”, but - unfortunately - that’s just not the world we live in. All we can say is that we’re hard at work!
What We Do…
Drawing on over thirty years experience in advertising and films, Crombie Film offers a wide range of services to film and TV productions. These include:
Script Services
Treatment creation; script writing; script reading and reaction; script doctoring; log line and Pitch Deck creation. Script credits include 3 feature credits, 2 uncredited rewrites, and several written-to-order, sold or optioned (but unmade) scripts - because you always lose more than you win in this game!
Shooting
We offer shoots and post-production in UK (think industrial videos, adverts, music videos, promos and such like). We also offer competitive rates for original cutting edge 2D graphics for title sequences, “heads and tails” etc.
Development
Script timing, breakdown, scheduling, and budgeting; consultation on underlying rights issues, legal structure, tax rebates and production subsidies, insurance and completion bonds, and key crew and cast contracts.
Eastern Europe
We can offer our wealth of experience and contacts regarding shooting in Lithuania, Bulgaria, and Greece - and also Ukraine, war permitting!
Sappho
Sappho is a provocative love story set in the 1920s. Millionaire’s daughter Sappho Lovell arrives on the Greek island of Lesbos with her new husband Phil. She meets an archaeologist’s daughter, Helene, and falls in love with her. At the same time, Sappho also comes to believe that she is the reincarnation of her namesake, the ancient Greek poetess Sappho - that Sappho who first put the “lesbian” in Lesbos. However, our modern-day Sappho doesn’t realise how the ancient Sappho’s story ends...
Sappho was a runaway success on its cinema release in Ukraine in 2008, with powerful evangelical leaders organising a nationwide petition against the movie and branding it as “the worst expression of Western freedom,” resulting in packed out cinemas, death threats against the director, and a tripling of the box office record for a locally-produced movie. Sappho also won the “Golden Aphrodite” at the Cyprus International Film Festival, it was released theatrically in another ten countries, and it more or less sold out worldwide on DVD/TV. A “Director’s Cut” was released in 2024.
The Good Soldier Shweik
Based on Jaroslav Hasek’s famous comic tale of a common soldier caught up in the cogs of an inhuman war machine, The Good Soldier Shweik is a 2D animation feature film.
Josef Shweik, a dealer in “second-hand” dogs, is called up to fight in World War One. Once in the army the “idiotic” good soldier is imprisoned, certified insane, starved half to death, lost at cards, and almost hanged as he makes his reluctant way towards the front line and almost certain death. However, the Good Soldier Shweik has one final triumphant “idiocy” in reserve.
A movie for those who like their humour black and their Christmasses white…
Soldiers of Fortune
A group of bored and risk-addicted billionaires go to war for kicks and thrills, but they get far more than they bargained for when they are hunted down themselves...
Soldiers Of Fortune is an action adventure flick with an all-star cast led by Christian Slater, Sean Bean, Ving Rhames, Dominic Monaghan, Colm Meaney, Freddy Rodrigues and James Cromwell. Soldiers of Fortune is a Crombie Film / Most Films production in association with Globus-Film. Soldiers of Fortune was released theatrically in USA in August 2012, taking over $14 million on VOD/DVD. It is distributed in English-language markets by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM), who have stated their interest in distributing a sequel.
Books
Cuba Libre
“I’m sorry, Jack. But I’m not your slave. Love’s not my religion. I don’t wait, I don’t hope, and I don’t believe. I’m free; I take. Yo puedo y tu no, I can and you can’t. That’s how I live. And the Madonna, Ochún, she heard my prayer, she made you mine.”
A straight-laced gringo is picked up by a free-spirited chica in Havana, and she takes him for a wild ride across modern Cuba in a 1958 Aztec red Cadillac Brougham Eldorado convertible - an odyssey that brings them face-to-face with hurricanes, Santeria and their hidden selves.
Cuba Libre is a kinky off-kilter love-story and a crazy adventure thriller. But most of all it is simply the incredible tale of a gringo, a chica, a Caddy & a goddess…
Available to buy at: amazon.com/author/robertcrombie
For signed copies, please contact us via form below!
Meet Willy Whale, a deadbeat Hollywood private eye, and the victim of a cruel cosmic prank when he discovers a severed human nose in his Down&Up "Double Trouble" burger. Willy’s investigates and discovers a mysterious serial killer is terrorising Hollywood, and the terrible price Tinseltown's top "players" pay for their fame. Then Willy's story gets really weird.
The Big Pretend is an unforgettable modern day Raymond Chandler detective novel, flavoured with a dash of Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, and spiced with a sprinkle of Richard Adams’ Dirk Gently, and accompanied with a chaser of Doctor Faustus. Partake responsibly.
The Second Coming, a sequel to The Big Pretend is in the works!
Available to buy at: amazon.com/author/robertcrombie
For signed copies, please contact us via form below
The Book of Life is written with an alphabet of only four letters, A, T, G, and C. Yet these four letters repeated in endless combinations are enough to spell out the recipes for every life form on Earth. Even that for a big-headed ape who calls himself Homo sapiens sapiens - "thought thinking man."
So just imagine what mind-boggling beasts could be created using all twenty-six letters of the alphabet! Here, in this seminal work of "monkey lit", are the weird and wonderful tales of the beasts created not by Mother Nature or by Charles Darwin, but by our own collective fears and fantasies.
Because where imagination intersects with reality absolutely anything is possible. A monkey with a typewriter can even write a book!
Available to buy at: amazon.com/author/robertcrombie
For signed copies, please contact us via form below
Contact Us
Interested in working together? Fill out some info and we will be in touch shortly. We can’t wait to hear from you!
More video can be found at: youtube.com/robertcrombiemovies
Robert’s books can be found for sale at: amazon.com/author/robertcrombie